How Do I Find Fulfillment?
Chances are, you have come to this site in search of answers to some large questions in your life. Perhaps you find yourself in some way dissatisfied with your life experiences, circumstances, or situations.
Perhaps you are working a job that you hate. Maybe it pays you a sizable income, but leaves you little time for LIFE. No time for the endeavors from which you derive PURPOSE and FULFILLMENT. No time for family and friends. No time to care for yourself the way you would like.
On the other hand, perhaps your job is deeply gratifying but doesn’t pay very well. Maybe you are working in your chosen field, and the work is deeply fulfilling, but it ain’t payin’ shit. Which probably means you still don’t have the time and opportunities that you’d like to have in your life for yourself and your loved ones.
Maybe, you have a job that you hate AND it pays absolute shit. That’s a scenario with which I am all to familiar, and it’s a great big shit burger on a sesame bun. Neither delicious nor nutritious. And you eat it how many times per week? Count your blessings if you don’t feel constantly sick to your stomach.
I’ve got good news for you though. Not too long ago, I was in the position of working a low-paying, unfulfilling job with no tangible prospects for fulfillment or financial independence. Burdened with untapped skills and talents begging for expression, but lacking a sufficient outlet. But I’m not in that position any longer. And I can show you how to leave that life behind for good in exchange for one that lights you up inside.
To help determine if this information is of value to you, here is a list of bulleted points outlining what this article covers.
- Our life experiences are created within the subconscious
- Our subconscious was programmed by our five year old (or younger) self
- The subconscious can be reprogrammed by our adult self
- To reprogram the subconscious, we must learn to speak its language
- Speaking to the subconscious mind is an extremely accessible skill
It May not Be What You Want, But it is What You Requested
Our life experiences, circumstances, and situations are external projections of our in-dwelling consciousness. What, precisely, does that mean?
It means that while our life plays out in the external field of experience that we know as the world around us, that life was, and continues to be created within our consciousness. Specifically, within our subconscious mind.
Getting to Know your Subconscious Mind
Everything we ever have experienced or will experience is a manifestation of some thought pattern within our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is the dominant force controlling our actions, and it does so based upon the dominant messages it receives. The messages it hears most clearly are recurring, emotionally charged thoughts and feelings. Once absorbed, these messages form the source code of the programs that dictate how we interpret and navigate life.
On the flipside, the subconscious does not respond to unemotional, rational messages such as the ones we send it unconsciously when we make statements like, “I just want enough money to pay the bills and live a stress-free life.” Rational, practical sentiments such as these are typically accompanied by lukewarm emotional states at best. All the subconscious hears is “Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”.
If there is emotion in these statements, it is typically some sort of frustration or desperation. We might angrily blurt out something about how a situation is unfair, how we deserve better, how we want more from life. The trouble here is that the subconscious is not hearing the words we are speaking as much as it is receiving the message of the negative thought and feeling state that we are embodying. So it concludes that this negative feeling state is the reality it must continue to create, and it dictates your actions accordingly.
Plus, to whatever extent our words matter, in such circumstances we are reaffirming the negative experiences of our situation by focusing upon what is wrong with this moment, rather than envisioning, expressing, and embodying the state that we desire. In “ This situation is unfair” the subconscious mind hears “life is unfair”. In “I deserve better” it hears “I lack fulfilling and quality experiences”. In “ I want more” it hears “I don’t have enough”. So the subconscious hears what is wrong, and gives us more of that undesirable outcome.
The gag is that the subconscious mind has neither a filter, nor a means of discerning external reality from internal thoughts and feelings. So whatever messages it receives via emotionally charged thought and feeling states, it accepts as reality. The problem is that most of the programs running in our subconscious were installed before we reached the age of five years. So a five year old (or younger) version of ourself is still running our life!
How it Works: A Sample Scenario
Here is an example from my own life that illustrates how these internal dynamics play out in our life. For a number of reasons too long and boring to lay out here, I grew up believing that I was undeserving of the blessings in my life. So up until the age of twenty-nine years I sabotaged many of the relationships, situations, and resources with which life rewarded me.
Consciously I wished to honor and enjoy these gifts. And for relatively brief periods, I could exercise my conscious will to do so. But the conscious mind acts like the portion of the iceberg visible above the surface of the water. It is but a small fraction of the total consciousness, and as such it has far less mass and content. Eventually, the subconscious programming of “undeserving brat” would reassert itself until I found myself despairing over the way my inexplicable impulsiveness and irrationality had ruined yet another blessing in my life.
Disrupting the Cycle
The tyranny of the subconscious mind is true only until we address our old beliefs and replace them with new, healthy ones. And the first step in doing that is fully embracing the dissatisfaction we feel. Since you are reading this, I have incredible news for you. You already have begun the process of awakening to the life of your dreams! If you are looking for an exit door from an unfulfilling life, you’ve already stepped through.
Once we recognize what we do not want, we awaken to the pursuit of determining what we do want. Then, rather than the five year old self programming the subconscious, the adult self, with a much better perspective, can instruct the subconscious as to how to proceed.
Speaking to the Sub-Conscious Mind
St. Augustine is credited with the statement that “Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of faith is to see what you believe.” Let us not be fooled into thinking that all we have to do is believe with enough emotion and we can create what we want in life. Remember that action in congruence with our beliefs is the embodiment of faith. But as Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” Envisioning and embodying your why with great detail and emotion can sustain you through the challenges of the how. And it programs your unfathomably powerful subconscious to work tirelessly toward manifesting your inner visions.
So indulge me if you will in a short exercise. Ask yourself a set of questions. But instead of answering with words or concepts, I want you to answer by shutting your eyes and envisioning scenes. Generate sense impressions. Evoke thought and feeling states. I want you to create the experience that answers the question. Once you have the images, sights, sounds, smells, textures, and feeling states, live in them for at least a few moments.
So… what is freedom for you? When you envision yourself in a state of freedom, where are you? What are you doing? Who is with you? Or are you alone? What do you see? Smell? Hear? What emotions and sensations are you feeling? What thoughts are you thinking?
Take a few minutes to shut your eyes and immerse yourself in an ideal experience.
Here are some questions you can use to prime yourself. Remember to indulge your wildest dreams. Refrain from judging or censoring. Leave plans and rational thinking for later. This time is for feeling.
What do you envision? Scenes of luxury? Your dream home? A fleet of supercars? Vacations to exotic locales?
What are you doing? Relaxing? Traveling? Some deeply fulfilling work? Philanthropy? Advocacy? Serving others in some way? Meditating? Painting? Playing with your children or grandchildren? Basking in the warm rays of sunshine that bathe your face as you recline, eyes shut, in a hammock, swaying in the gentle breeze of a springtime meadow? (For example.)
Take as much time as you can, for as long as you can sustain the experience of your ideal reality. When you are finished, simply return. But carry the residual vibrations of the experience with you.
And relive it as often as necessary for it to become your new state of feeling.
In fact, review and relive it now.
With whom did you find yourself spending time in these scenes? Your life partner? Your children? Extended family? Dear friends? Pets?
In your state of freedom how did you feel? Relaxed? Energized? Blissful? Grateful? Calm?
With enough practice, such an exercise will leave you positively charged. You will feel energized and hopeful, recognizing both the boundless opportunities life has to offer, and your limitless potential in tapping them. At the same time, your subconscious mind is setting to work seeking out people, situations, and circumstances that can lead you to the manifestation of your dream life.
If you place yourself in this elevated state of thought and feeling frequently enough, it will become your default level of consciousness. When this happens, the momentum you generate will carry you to a new level of living.
Please let me know if there is any way that I can assist you.
At your service.