“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of faith is to see what you believe.” -St. Augustine
I’ll be brief with this one, because ultimately, it is quite simple. If we are not acting in accordance with our stated beliefs, then they aren’t actually beliefs. They are simply some nice ideas that we’d like to believe are true.
To live in faith is to act in integrity with the reality that we seek to manifest.
No manifestation of a greater life experience.
Where I personally have misunderstood this truth is in the size and scope of the actions in question. Typically, I have misinterpreted this axiom of faith to mean that if I don’t step off the edge of a cliff with the full expectation of God’s hand sweeping me to safety, then I am out of integrity with the state of faith.
However, now I understand that the act of faith may be far less dramatic than attempting to climb Mt. Everest barefoot in your pajamas in the dead of winter. Your personal, internal Mt. Everest may be something much more subtle. But to your subconscious mind and your soul, whatever fear is challenging your willingness to act in complete faith is equally formidable.
For me, the fears have been numerous.
Fear of failure.
Fear of humiliation.
Fear of discovering unequivocally that I am not meant to live an extraordinary life of my design.
Fear of asserting my vision of a better world rather than continuing to live in someone else’s nightmare.
Fear of the discomfort I may cause others by insisting that I feel the existence of a better way, a better life.
Fear of the discomfort I may feel by insisting that we should try my way.
Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, blah, blah, blah, etc. ad nauseam.
In stepping into faith, though, I have realized something extremely important. All of the intellectualized understanding I’ve had about my fears, my childhood beliefs that I was born a burden and will never be anything but one, of being undeserving, of all that other psychobabble bullshit that I’ve used to pretend that I truly know myself, none of it means a thing.
At least not until I step into my faith and truly feel the acute, and quite intense experience of my fear. That is truly facing my fears. And when I have sat in and with those feelings for long enough, and I observe them dispersing like wisps of cloud on a breezy day, then and only then am I free of their hold upon me.
It has been said that we cannot heal what we refuse to feel. And ultimately, our greatest fear is not any of the circumstances or conditions that we may have believed to be so threatening. Our greatest fear is actually feeling the full force of our fear, of our pain.
There is a chance that when you step into the faith around which your fear has built a wall, you might not feel an immediate sense of peace, joy, or ease. You may feel intense anxiety, doubt, and despair.
But rather than retreating, I encourage you to remain in those feelings. And simply observe as the ego attempts to convince you to remain in the familiar discomfort from which you are now deciding to emerge. It does so by intensifying the feelings of fear that have imprisoned you for so long.
So watch the thoughts and feelings without engaging them. There is no need to attempt to reassure yourself of your decision. Something far greater and more intelligent than your conscious mind is guiding your choices now.
Likewise, there is no need to argue with the fears, attempting to convince them or yourself why your act of faith was the “correct” choice. Just watch. As you do, those thoughts, which have used your emotions as the very nourishment of their existence, will diminish quite rapidly until they have dwindled to nothing and floated off on a light breeze.
And in their place will be the piece of yourself that you have reclaimed.
Please reach out to me if there is any way that I can help you on your journey.
At your service.